Giving Back the Gift of God

Letting go

Human gifts are imperfect, frequently unappreciated, wrongly motivated, defective and temporary. Gifts that are good gifts and perfect gifts come only from above.

(James 1: 7) “Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the Heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows.”

The Gift of Life, Salvation and Creation, just to name a few, are all perfect. What more can you ask for?

It was not apparent to me that I needed anything, sure I wanted things, but the desire comes and goes. God had me in His hand and kept me and my needs in check. He is more than enough for me. But God knows something about me that I still don’t know or perhaps, He knows how much I need to fulfill a purpose in my life that I am yet to uncover.

Until He gave it to me.

There was a note saying “Do not open yet”. It was obvious, readable and understandable.

I tried fighting the thoughts inside me:

“When is the right time to open it?”

“Why?”

“I need it now”

“I think it’s okay”.

I didn’t receive any answer, or was I too focused on the gift to hear the answer?

I made myself believe that I had confirmation and my excitement led me to open it.

Finally, I have seen it with my own eyes; I have felt it in my arms and my heart started pounding. From that moment, it was the most precious thing I had, and I wanted to keep it for the rest of my life.

I valued that gift more than I thought I could. Spending time with each other, we became seemingly inseparable and I invested too much of my emotion.

I think at that point, I loved too much. Although it seems difficult to define what constitutes excessiveness in love, my “too much” implied something on the lines  of  “I love him too much to let go”.

I thought I ‘owned’ the gift and I felt jealousy whenever I saw someone else holding it. I became so selfish forgetting that the gift can be used for something greater, not just for me to have something to hold tightly.

Now, the One who gave it to me wants it back. I need to loosen the grip.

I was so stubborn, and so scared of getting hurt. But getting hurt is inevitable, plus, I know that I will only hurt more if I don’t obey. So I give it back to God. “The Lord gave and the Lord has taken away; may the name of the Lord be praised.” (Job 1:21) It was indeed a beautiful gift which I’ll always be grateful for. He allowed me to have it, even though it was only for a short amount of time. It’s up to Him now if He will give me the same gift in His perfect time, or if He will replace it with a better one.

Everything belongs to God. Our lives are His, and in our lives lie opportunities to give back to Him what is already His. Our time, treasure, devotion, relationships, dreams and ambition.

He is good (He can’t be anything other than good) and He loves us faithfully.

He said I am precious to Him (Isaiah 43:4) and whatever He asks of me can be trusted. I just need to obey. I believe that He loves me and wants nothing but the best for me. He leads me towards the direction he wanted me to move. (He wouldn’t ask me if He is not willing to help me)

“And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose.” Romans 8:28

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